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The Hogarths Top Secret “DO”

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The village gave a surprise party to wish farewell to Richard and Jeanette Hogarth who are shortly leaving to live in the cold bleak wastes of Cumbria

We only do weddings and funerals
We only do weddings and funerals
Well theres the crisps gone
Well theres the crisps gone
Just turn the volume up a notch
Just turn the volume up a notch
We start with hymn number
We start with hymn number
Where's the birdy then?
Where’s the birdy then?
The serious eaters
The serious eaters
There's the bill
There’s the bill
Watchit or ill punch your light out
Watchit or ill punch your light out
So I came up at him and
So I came up at him and
And there we were at 20000 feet and
And there we were at 20000 feet and
Oh dear what's he going to say next
Oh dear what’s he going to say next
Obviously pleased to be going
Obviously pleased to be going
Our guest in full chat mode
Our guest in full chat mode
Oh dear forgot the honourarium
Oh dear forgot the honourarium
Only here for the fishing actually
Only here for the fishing actually
Me please sir
Me please sir
Now, about these sheep
Now, about these sheep
What we need is a revolution
What we need is a revolution
Look mostly my own teeth
Look mostly my own teeth
It's the wine that does it
It’s the wine that does it
Just checking the food is ok
Just checking the food is ok
It was this long!
It was this long!
How did she get all those then?
How did she get all those then?
It's that man again
It’s that man again
Goodness is someone stealing the food
Goodness is someone stealing the food
A regal spread
A regal spread
Chalkey in full song
Chalkey in full song
Call yourself a photographer
Call yourself a photographer
And we want you to pay for the broken window before you go!
And we want you to pay for the broken window before you go!
As a professional guest I was expecting a second course
As a professional guest I was expecting a second course
Who said that?
Who said that?