All posts by wingsites

Coffee Bottles and Biscuit Box.


Some time after 5 July and before the 9th of July someone removed the Thursday Coffee Morning bottles of coffee and the plastic biscuit storage box. These were kept openly in the cupboards down at the Hall Kitchen. They were not labelled so there could be grounds for a plea of mitigation. If anyone saw anything suspicious or someone furtively moving in the area of the hall, please Report what you saw to Paul Brewer, the new coffee morning supremo. It looks as if there will have to be locks fitted to all the cupboards and perhaps a body search of people using the hall. Storage of personal items in the hall may also have to be reviewed. Since posting this note it has been discovered that the Sweeteners have also been taken to a new home. So it would appear we are looking for a furtive person who drinks coffee and likes it sweet.

Jeanette has gone. Life carries on, but under new management.

 We preferred it as it was, no arguments, always plenty of biscuits and no sign of sneaky coffee thieves. Things are getting so bad even the Vicar has decided to leave.

The Hogarths Top Secret “DO”


The village gave a surprise party to wish farewell to Richard and Jeanette Hogarth who are shortly leaving to live in the cold bleak wastes of Cumbria

We only do weddings and funerals
We only do weddings and funerals
Well theres the crisps gone
Well theres the crisps gone
Just turn the volume up a notch
Just turn the volume up a notch
We start with hymn number
We start with hymn number
Where's the birdy then?
Where’s the birdy then?
The serious eaters
The serious eaters
There's the bill
There’s the bill
Watchit or ill punch your light out
Watchit or ill punch your light out
So I came up at him and
So I came up at him and
And there we were at 20000 feet and
And there we were at 20000 feet and
Oh dear what's he going to say next
Oh dear what’s he going to say next
Obviously pleased to be going
Obviously pleased to be going
Our guest in full chat mode
Our guest in full chat mode
Oh dear forgot the honourarium
Oh dear forgot the honourarium
Only here for the fishing actually
Only here for the fishing actually
Me please sir
Me please sir
Now, about these sheep
Now, about these sheep
What we need is a revolution
What we need is a revolution
Look mostly my own teeth
Look mostly my own teeth
It's the wine that does it
It’s the wine that does it
Just checking the food is ok
Just checking the food is ok
It was this long!
It was this long!
How did she get all those then?
How did she get all those then?
It's that man again
It’s that man again
Goodness is someone stealing the food
Goodness is someone stealing the food
A regal spread
A regal spread
Chalkey in full song
Chalkey in full song
Call yourself a photographer
Call yourself a photographer
And we want you to pay for the broken window before you go!
And we want you to pay for the broken window before you go!
As a professional guest I was expecting a second course
As a professional guest I was expecting a second course
Who said that?
Who said that?