Wing Seniors Gobble the Turkey


The observant amongst us may have seen round the village some posters regarding a Lunch at the Hall. Not everybody did, the posters looked like this:-

Xmas-Lunch-Poster

On the 13th, as announced, in the Hall, there was a lunch, following are some photographs taken during the meal.

There is an interesting background to this event. For those not Coffee Morning regulars and therefore perhaps missing the latest news. Jeanetta, wife of the itinerant shelf hanger, as you should all know, has moved to warmer climes. We all said our farewells and carried on with our lives. We thought we had everything covered, the quilters were squabbling quietly amongst themselves and your correspondent had taken over the Coffee Morning. Even the bowls people were fairly contented. Then, one day there was an outbreak of what can only be called Wet Hennery.  Jan was also leaving! she had been doing it for the last 14 years….”Who’s doing Christmas Lunch” was heard at Coffee Morning. It was obvious that complete panic was about to erupt in what had been up till then a peaceful English village. neither Napoleon or Herr Schickelgrouber had caused such dismay. Being an Aircraft Apprentice, your correspondent, trained at enormous expense to the tax payer announced, ” Don’t panic, I can organise it, I can strip and re assemble a Bren gun in a sack”.  At this calm ensued. Barbara was heard to ask “what’s a Bren gun?  One of the other AAs in the ville, of a senior entry who would have been a pal of Frazer if Dad’s Army had been around, was busy spreading alarm and despondency with remarks like “He’s got it round his neck, It’ll be a disaster, mark my words”. The following week mumbling was heard round the coffee table to the effect  ” He ain’t got a clue”.  Jan was approached but announced firmly she would have nothing to do with it as her move was imminent. Before the controller could get involved someone thrust Mary Rogers into the kitchen where she said as she was used to organising things for the Royal Scouting Association, a lunch would be a mere bagatelle to her. Rapidly the task was handed over to sighs of relief from the top table.

Mary it turns out had no experience of feeding the ten thousand, but, with her RSA background she would find someone who could. Enter Sarah McAllister. Often seen ploughing through the village in her Land Rover. She used to drive a tank, but for some time has been doing catering for a living with a mere Land Rover. Having, it transpired, twistable arms and also being a new villager, she was tentatively approached and engaged on a loss leader basis to do the skilled work for us.

I, and everyone else I spoke to at the lunch enjoyed and was impressed with their meal so we must all say a big Thank You to Sarah. In future a raised hand greeting is in order when you see the Peuce Landy trundling through the ville.

Now then, lets get down to the lunch. Everybody who was anybody was there so they should feature on the digital wonderland that is our Website. Here goes then.

Remember-Click on a photo to enlarge it!

All bar the first that is!

aXmas Lunch 2015 General e

Just filling up nicely, notice bottles still corked

It all looks quite calm and serene in the above shot. However, someone had kindly donated laughing water to go with the meal ( Thank You Mystery Donor) so it wasn’t long before things livened up.

Here are some shots taken during the meal. Rather than describe them in detail I will just add snippets from conversations overheard as I slid my slender frame through the crowds.

aXmas Lunch 2015 I dont agree with all this drink - Copy  aXmas Lunch 2015 60

Dorothy explaining the evils of Drink to Julia and Tony agreeing, slightly.

aXmas Lunch 2015 4

Cyril Armstrong explaining to Roger the Plot how things just grow better up at the Pondarosa. It has it’s own micro climate, a bit like Ruddles apparently.

Pedro and Chris

We really wanted to be Turtle Doves say Chris and Pedro Weston

Don't tell anyone but

Alan explaining how to wangle free parking at the library, John is not too keen but Brian thinks it’s a good idea

Found wandering in the car park

This poor soul was found wandering in the car park. We brought him in and filled him up with some warm tea. Jan then came and claimed him. Apparently she keeps him to do the washing up and car cleaning.

I was settling down to a quiet Lunch when I heard a “Cooee” from the far end of the room

Coee I have a little job for you

It was Gloria. When the lunch was finished she had a “little job” for me.

Whilst getting my instructions Sheila Casey swept in on her well oiled mandraulic Trundle. She immediately became the centre of attention but kept asking who was the idiot with the camera…..

aXmas Lunch 2015 71

I went over to exchange a form of pleasantry with Mrs Casey and her lovely daughter Jaqui

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Who’s that nice man over there Mum?

aXmas Lunch 2015 32
Enter a caption

That’s no “nice man” and don’t you wave at him girl, that’s the bloke from up Mill Close and I don’t mean the Shelf Hanger. He’s an expensive rubber ring seller amongst other things.

aXmas Lunch 2015 48

Just glare at him, he might go away.

Meanwhile, back in the hall….

Was this Romance or just a very good wine?

Is this romance or just too much wine

Pop, normally a very sober member of the community getting a little carried away with Doreen, the Bowling Belle of Wing.

aXmas Lunch 2015 And I promise not to sing

Sparks, as ever, complaining about the wine, apparently not enough of a  Bouquet for him, Sheila agreeing while Cyril is still explaining how the answer to most things lies in the soil.

They only come ashore at Christmas for a drink

Nick  reckons only to come ashore for booze so today was a good one for him to tie up.

aXmas Lunch 2015 46

Then Roger the Clock started laughing, he had found the drink was free, Anne T was thinking, Why did I have to sit here?  Anne R was thinking, Two Scots and a bottle…

aXmas Lunch 2015 45

Its all Free Shouts Roger

aXmas Lunch 2015 30

Be quiet Roger says Silvia or you’ll be going to bed without your Horlicks tonight

Richard had started the raffle Organised by Anne. It raised well over a Hundred pounds towards the event.

Here comes Cynthia struggling to suppress a smile as she carries home her winnings.

aXmas Lunch 2015 68

The Raffle was very well stocked this year and actually caused a small problem in that there were pregnant pauses as people struggled to get to their prizes.

Talking of pregnancy

aXmas Lunch 2015 63

The Ministry of Health had asked me if I wanted to star in a film they were making about Family Planning.

aXmas Lunch 2015 65

Anne giving it the hard sell

I bet there was no one in the hall who dared not buy a Raffle ticket.

aXmas Lunch 2015 44

Now we know why we rarely see Charles out of an evening, His delightful wife Phillipa.

aXmas Lunch 2015 43

Calm down, you two there’s plenty for everyone.Look how Christine controls herself. Mary is embarrassed by you Richard and it’s no good blaming Gloria.

aXmas Lunch 2015 41

Well of course I gave up a good days fishing to come here says Vic reluctantly grabbing a fill up whilst Neil is just relieved to be given a break from the ear bashing.

aXmas Lunch 2015 49

Did I have to sit next to this chap thinks  Cynthia. Of course I am a very important person thinks Paul.

aXmas Lunch 2015 51

I’ll give you Queen of the May. Just keep off my mint chocks!

aXmas Lunch 2015 42

What we don’t know is where is John going for the next cruise?? Brian and Margaret Moore, Jan and Alan back row with Brian and John ready for the off

aXmas Lunch 2015 33

Anne Ruffel telling June and David Leith one of her risque little jokes.

aXmas Lunch 2015 12

Yes Pam we can get that cobweb down after.  VAL and Adrian patiently waiting Not like some….

Calm down

Calm down Richard!

aXmas Lunch 2015 19b

Of course, with Angora goats you have to stop them eating small children, it gives them tummy ache  Brenda to Sarah. Two keepers of exotic animals. Brenda alas, not any more, but Sarah’s alligator tank is doing well in Manton.  Apparently they have more small children up there.

aXmas Lunch 2015 25

Of course G3s get everywhere, Bigger aerials, Better rigs and More DX, just look at Julia with Gordon our resident G3, apparently she can cook as well.

aXmas Lunch 2015 15

Yes, be careful mate I’m watching you! while Eileen looks calmly on. I regret to say this is the only shot containing Judith, mistress of the Fruit Salad, better than ever this year Thanks Judith!

Thats much better

That’s much better Richard, just keep your hands on the table.

Meanwhile, in the Engine Room

The Organisers a

The team that made it all happen. Jools?, Sarah herself, Chris Haworth and your correspondent’s understudy Mary Rogers who took on the job of organising this years bash at extremely short notice. They are the ones to be thanking, if like me, you enjoyed the event.

Next year’s bash looks to be ON. This year’s finances eventually worked out very well. The Raffle did well, the prizes were all donated, thanks again doners! And those who were good enough to put a donation in the box, not only were we pleased to see you again your money helped make it all possible.

aXmas Lunch 2015 19a

Ouch, How Much? asks Bryan of Charles

aXmas Lunch 2015 16

Tony only came on the understanding he could sit next to Barbara, our very own Birthday Girl, Mill Close’s bit of hot stuff. Happy Birthday Barbara.

Nick and Maggie

Great to see Nick and Maggie, our (well Glaston’s actually) very own Water Rats come ashore for Nick to unwind and Maggie to dry out.

aXmas Lunch 2015 79aXmas Lunch 2015 78aXmas Lunch 2015 77aXmas Lunch 2015 76

With still shots it is not possible to show the antics of your tame idiot and Richards articulated hat. if you scan across the shots above you will see the hat has a life of its own.

I couldn’t see it but apparently it was hilarious.  Well thought of Richard.

aXmas Lunch 2015 72

Even Sheila could see the funny side of it.

aXmas Lunch 2015 37

Cyril, Sheila Mac, Anne Thomson and Chris watching they don’t miss anything.

aXmas Lunch 2015 34

THE Senior corner

aXmas Lunch 2015 17

Brian and Margaret Moor, Jan Hollowell and Alan enjoying themselves.

aXmas Lunch 2015 28

Anne T, cornered Jane Alexander and Alistair Orr in the middle of the hall and relieved them of some cash for a ticket or two. They didn’t realise they are about to be impoverished, Anne is so persuasive.

aXmas Lunch 2015 39

Roger explaining he used to be a comic at Skegie till the Lord Chancellor closed him down.

There are a couple of folk not featured who were labouring away in the background, Judith, Queen of the Fruit Salad, Jane Peach doing dogsbody this year. As usual, Helen and Richard Bateman were everywhere but not in the photos. The management apologise and promise to do better next time.

There are more photos in the locker but believe me when you have a small brain and weak eyes you need a break.

Can I just say to any members of the WI. If you are looking for a speaker, I do an excellent hour long talk on Bubble Sextants and Aperiodic Compasses. I am cheap, local and can speak English or a little Dutch. Have a word with your Queen Bee about booking me. Remember I am, as Tony says, Cheap!

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