There was a Lunch laid on in the Hall on Sunday for those residents who lived alone. Your correspondent was present as a side line from writing for the Guardian and because it was thought I looked a little peaky and in need of nourishment. Joanne Beaver did the tricky bit, the cooking, while the rest of us concentrated on what marks to award. The panel were Cynthia, and her friend Margaret from Uppingham, Doreen, Allan, the new villager from the bungalows. Cyril invited Roger the Plot as his friend and at 13:00 Z sharp, we were away. The meal was pronounced a success with full marks awarded and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed mine. On the menu was local Rare Breed Pork generously supplied by Pheasants Roost of Manton. As you would expect from our Blue Riband chef, there were all the trimmings. The main meal was followed by a choice of sweets, A rich chocolate gateaux, a healthy fresh fruit salad and a delicious crumble. Those that didn’t attend missed a treat. Avoid dissapointment, get your name down for the next one!
Margret, Cynthia and Doreen being delicate eaters were coming in last.
What we all enjoyed.
The observant amongst us may have seen round the village some posters regarding a Lunch at the Hall. Not everybody did, the posters looked like this:-
On the 13th, as announced, in the Hall, there was a lunch, following are some photographs taken during the meal.
There is an interesting background to this event. For those not Coffee Morning regulars and therefore perhaps missing the latest news. Jeanetta, wife of the itinerant shelf hanger, as you should all know, has moved to warmer climes. We all said our farewells and carried on with our lives. We thought we had everything covered, the quilters were squabbling quietly amongst themselves and your correspondent had taken over the Coffee Morning. Even the bowls people were fairly contented. Then, one day there was an outbreak of what can only be called Wet Hennery. Jan was also leaving! she had been doing it for the last 14 years….”Who’s doing Christmas Lunch” was heard at Coffee Morning. It was obvious that complete panic was about to erupt in what had been up till then a peaceful English village. neither Napoleon or Herr Schickelgrouber had caused such dismay. Being an Aircraft Apprentice, your correspondent, trained at enormous expense to the tax payer announced, ” Don’t panic, I can organise it, I can strip and re assemble a Bren gun in a sack”. At this calm ensued. Barbara was heard to ask “what’s a Bren gun? One of the other AAs in the ville, of a senior entry who would have been a pal of Frazer if Dad’s Army had been around, was busy spreading alarm and despondency with remarks like “He’s got it round his neck, It’ll be a disaster, mark my words”. The following week mumbling was heard round the coffee table to the effect ” He ain’t got a clue”. Jan was approached but announced firmly she would have nothing to do with it as her move was imminent. Before the controller could get involved someone thrust Mary Rogers into the kitchen where she said as she was used to organising things for the Royal Scouting Association, a lunch would be a mere bagatelle to her. Rapidly the task was handed over to sighs of relief from the top table.
Mary it turns out had no experience of feeding the ten thousand, but, with her RSA background she would find someone who could. Enter Sarah McAllister. Often seen ploughing through the village in her Land Rover. She used to drive a tank, but for some time has been doing catering for a living with a mere Land Rover. Having, it transpired, twistable arms and also being a new villager, she was tentatively approached and engaged on a loss leader basis to do the skilled work for us.
I, and everyone else I spoke to at the lunch enjoyed and was impressed with their meal so we must all say a big Thank You to Sarah. In future a raised hand greeting is in order when you see the Peuce Landy trundling through the ville.
Now then, lets get down to the lunch. Everybody who was anybody was there so they should feature on the digital wonderland that is our Website. Here goes then.
Remember-Click on a photo to enlarge it!
All bar the first that is!
Just filling up nicely, notice bottles still corked
It all looks quite calm and serene in the above shot. However, someone had kindly donated laughing water to go with the meal ( Thank You Mystery Donor) so it wasn’t long before things livened up.
Here are some shots taken during the meal. Rather than describe them in detail I will just add snippets from conversations overheard as I slid my slender frame through the crowds.
Dorothy explaining the evils of Drink to Julia and Tony agreeing, slightly.
Cyril Armstrong explaining to Roger the Plot how things just grow better up at the Pondarosa. It has it’s own micro climate, a bit like Ruddles apparently.
We really wanted to be Turtle Doves say Chris and Pedro Weston
Alan explaining how to wangle free parking at the library, John is not too keen but Brian thinks it’s a good idea
This poor soul was found wandering in the car park. We brought him in and filled him up with some warm tea. Jan then came and claimed him. Apparently she keeps him to do the washing up and car cleaning.
I was settling down to a quiet Lunch when I heard a “Cooee” from the far end of the room
It was Gloria. When the lunch was finished she had a “little job” for me.
Whilst getting my instructions Sheila Casey swept in on her well oiled mandraulic Trundle. She immediately became the centre of attention but kept asking who was the idiot with the camera…..
I went over to exchange a form of pleasantry with Mrs Casey and her lovely daughter Jaqui
Who’s that nice man over there Mum?
That’s no “nice man” and don’t you wave at him girl, that’s the bloke from up Mill Close and I don’t mean the Shelf Hanger. He’s an expensive rubber ring seller amongst other things.
Just glare at him, he might go away.
Meanwhile, back in the hall….
Was this Romance or just a very good wine?
Pop, normally a very sober member of the community getting a little carried away with Doreen, the Bowling Belle of Wing.
Sparks, as ever, complaining about the wine, apparently not enough of a Bouquet for him, Sheila agreeing while Cyril is still explaining how the answer to most things lies in the soil.
Nick reckons only to come ashore for booze so today was a good one for him to tie up.
Then Roger the Clock started laughing, he had found the drink was free, Anne T was thinking, Why did I have to sit here? Anne R was thinking, Two Scots and a bottle…
Its all Free Shouts Roger
Be quiet Roger says Silvia or you’ll be going to bed without your Horlicks tonight
Richard had started the raffle Organised by Anne. It raised well over a Hundred pounds towards the event.
Here comes Cynthia struggling to suppress a smile as she carries home her winnings.
The Raffle was very well stocked this year and actually caused a small problem in that there were pregnant pauses as people struggled to get to their prizes.
Talking of pregnancy
The Ministry of Health had asked me if I wanted to star in a film they were making about Family Planning.
Anne giving it the hard sell
I bet there was no one in the hall who dared not buy a Raffle ticket.
Now we know why we rarely see Charles out of an evening, His delightful wife Phillipa.
Calm down, you two there’s plenty for everyone.Look how Christine controls herself. Mary is embarrassed by you Richard and it’s no good blaming Gloria.
Well of course I gave up a good days fishing to come here says Vic reluctantly grabbing a fill up whilst Neil is just relieved to be given a break from the ear bashing.
Did I have to sit next to this chap thinks Cynthia. Of course I am a very important person thinks Paul.
I’ll give you Queen of the May. Just keep off my mint chocks!
What we don’t know is where is John going for the next cruise?? Brian and Margaret Moore, Jan and Alan back row with Brian and John ready for the off
Anne Ruffel telling June and David Leith one of her risque little jokes.
Yes Pam we can get that cobweb down after. VAL and Adrian patiently waiting Not like some….
Calm down Richard!
Of course, with Angora goats you have to stop them eating small children, it gives them tummy ache Brenda to Sarah. Two keepers of exotic animals. Brenda alas, not any more, but Sarah’s alligator tank is doing well in Manton. Apparently they have more small children up there.
Of course G3s get everywhere, Bigger aerials, Better rigs and More DX, just look at Julia with Gordon our resident G3, apparently she can cook as well.
Yes, be careful mate I’m watching you! while Eileen looks calmly on. I regret to say this is the only shot containing Judith, mistress of the Fruit Salad, better than ever this year Thanks Judith!
That’s much better Richard, just keep your hands on the table.
Meanwhile, in the Engine Room
The team that made it all happen. Jools?, Sarah herself, Chris Haworth and your correspondent’s understudy Mary Rogers who took on the job of organising this years bash at extremely short notice. They are the ones to be thanking, if like me, you enjoyed the event.
Next year’s bash looks to be ON. This year’s finances eventually worked out very well. The Raffle did well, the prizes were all donated, thanks again doners! And those who were good enough to put a donation in the box, not only were we pleased to see you again your money helped make it all possible.
Ouch, How Much? asks Bryan of Charles
Tony only came on the understanding he could sit next to Barbara, our very own Birthday Girl, Mill Close’s bit of hot stuff. Happy Birthday Barbara.
Great to see Nick and Maggie, our (well Glaston’s actually) very own Water Rats come ashore for Nick to unwind and Maggie to dry out.
With still shots it is not possible to show the antics of your tame idiot and Richards articulated hat. if you scan across the shots above you will see the hat has a life of its own.
I couldn’t see it but apparently it was hilarious. Well thought of Richard.
Even Sheila could see the funny side of it.
Cyril, Sheila Mac, Anne Thomson and Chris watching they don’t miss anything.
THE Senior corner
Brian and Margaret Moor, Jan Hollowell and Alan enjoying themselves.
Anne T, cornered Jane Alexander and Alistair Orr in the middle of the hall and relieved them of some cash for a ticket or two. They didn’t realise they are about to be impoverished, Anne is so persuasive.
Roger explaining he used to be a comic at Skegie till the Lord Chancellor closed him down.
There are a couple of folk not featured who were labouring away in the background, Judith, Queen of the Fruit Salad, Jane Peach doing dogsbody this year. As usual, Helen and Richard Bateman were everywhere but not in the photos. The management apologise and promise to do better next time.
There are more photos in the locker but believe me when you have a small brain and weak eyes you need a break.
Can I just say to any members of the WI. If you are looking for a speaker, I do an excellent hour long talk on Bubble Sextants and Aperiodic Compasses. I am cheap, local and can speak English or a little Dutch. Have a word with your Queen Bee about booking me. Remember I am, as Tony says, Cheap!
Every other week some of the gentlemen of Wing indulge their fantasies by gathering at Alan Hodkinson’s games room, known to all as “The Jammie Break”. Not that they are not all masters of their chosen sport, it’s just that those words are heard most evenings.
Please don’t get the idea that they do other than take the game seriously, look at Angus. If that’s not serious contemplation your scribe is a Dutchman.
And there again if you were a ball would you dare to miss a pocket after that glare from Mark Sayers?
There are a few attendees that demonstrate an admirable lack of concern, look at the way Richard Bateman tackles a similar ball. Relaxed has to be the style.
The Newsham boys, Robert and Ian, having had a long misspent youth can of course take all this gamesmanship in their stride
While the game is going on Dennis uses his authority to keep order at the bar. He has just discovered someone has had his Sausage roll. He prefers Rugby anyway.
Ivan Smith usually takes these evenings with some amusement and is rarely seen not smiling. Paul Comben and Andy Howarth, once suitably lubricated, usually see the lighter side of the frames as does John Hacket, often seen to be counting under his breath a habit started when he ran the hall’s books.
Not to be confused with the light hearted attitude seen South of the Border, Roger the Clock likes to take a more considered approach, often having to be goaded into making a move at all with his cue. Several times there were going to be calls for a medic as the others thought his back had locked up.
At this, one of the last Snooker evenings Mick Rogers, for ever planning ahead, was busy explaining to Alan how he was thinking to use the evenings as an example of a team building exercise with the Royal Scouting Association. But he would include Pickled Onions and a camp fire.
However, Alan Hodkinson, host for the evenings has been forced to sell the table and move off to Oakham, He denies it is because of the fuss the event has caused. One of his near neighbours having moved, it is thought, in disgust at the carry on. The players are all mortified and have assured their spouses they will do their best to sink back into a quiet respectable lifestyle again. They all miss the Snooker evenings and would wish to thank Alan for his hospitality and the great time had by them all. For his part Alan has given Wing Church a handsome donation on the understanding the vicar will not use the games evenings as an example in his sermons.
All the best Alan, you will be missed!
Now that’s when they looked after people.
The first games night was held at the Hall on Friday 27th evening.
There was a full complement of amusements laid out, Darts Pool and Bowls. The ladies had brought a cornucopia of eats and nibbles and a fair selection of drinks were also available.
What was sorely lacking was participants. At enormous expense Doreen was tempted out on what was, admittedly, a wild night. But she gave us all a master class on Bowls and how it should be done. We all gathered round to learn the art. It will obviously take us tyros some time to get to her standard but it was interesting to watch her giving it her all.
Your correspondent took on the O’Boyle lads for a game of Darts and not only got thrashed but managed to get a couple of darts into the wall. There may well be questions in the house about hooligans allowed to play. In future some protection will have to be arranged or the Hall is going to get damaged.
Robert King showed some of his miss spent youth by performing on the pool table, all he needed was a cigarette dangling from his lips and we would have had another master class.
Richard (keep death of the streets) Tulloch with his cough and Mary turned up as did a fair sprinkling of Wings good burghers. All that attended enjoyed themselves and the general consensus was that it was a good evening just needing a few more attendees.
Sarah O’Boyle did a good job in organising the evening but without a doubt more people are needed. There will be another games night when we hope more people will attend. Why don’t you come along next time? The more the merrier!
We have started two “causes” that are a painless way of raising money for the village that cost you nothing !
If you are buying anything online then if you visit one of these sites first they will donate a small percentage of anything you buy to the Wing Community fund. See here for details.
For more information about the maze see our history section